Advice For ‘South Park’ On Its Plans To Fend Off New Jersey Invasion: Fuggedaboutit

It looks like the snide, potty-mouthed denizens of “South Park” are going to take on The Situation and Snooki. Good luck with that, you Colorado pantywaists.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker — the sicko (and now very rich) creators of the animated Comedy Central hit — are taking a stand against New Jersey, according to a press release Thursday from the cable network. The showdown is Oct. 13.

DJ Pauly D, center, and The Situation, far right, lead New Jersey mob against South Park

“New Jersey is rapidly taking over the nation one state at a time and their next stop is ‘South Park’ in an all-new episode of titled, ‘New Jersey,'” the release said.

“Everything east of the Rockies is now part of New Jersey! South Park is in danger of becoming West Jersey within the week,” according to the announcement. “As the Jerseyites spill into Colorado and approach South Park, Randy and the boys stand strong against the onslaught.”

South Park takes a stand against New Jersey's encroachment on the rest of the nation

Try and stop us, Stone and Parker. You both must be having a Rocky Mountain high if you think you can can get the best of the Garden State. Haven’t you ever seen the popular T-shirt, “New Jersey: Only the strong survive.”

One shot from the Jersey “South Park” episode depicts members of the bronzed and vulgar crew of MTV’s “Jersey Shore,” namely DJ Pauly D and The Situation, who inexplicably hasn’t been booted yet from “Dancing With the Stars.” Those two tanned, gelled Shore rats are leading a band of Jerseyites against South Park.

Another still shot has a “South Park” character wielding a “No Jersey” sign.

Perhaps we’ll also see “cast” members from other Jersey-based reality shows, like “Jerseylicious” and “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” on “South Park.”

Hollywood can’t seem to get enough of Jersey. We understand that tonight’s episode of “Bones” features a visit to the Garden State.

MTVN honcho, and Jersey traitor, Doug Herzog

Not fur nuthin, but the appearance of “Jersey Shore” characters on “South Park” actually shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise, since MTV and Comedy Central are both owned by the media giant Viacom.

And here’s a little secret for you: Doug Herzog, former Comedy Central chief and now president of the MTV Networks Entertainment Group (which includes Comedy Central) is from New Jersey. The city of Paterson, we believe. Et tu, Brute?

Comedy Central said there is no one available to talk about the episode, but that a clip of it will soon be posted on the “South Park” website.

Launched in 1997, “South Park,” now in its 14th season, remains the highest-rated series on Comedy Central. The show put the network, and Herzog, on the map.

Call QVC Tuesday To Ask Sting’s Wife Trudie About That Tantric Sex Story

Sting's wife Trudie will be on QVC Tuesday selling her yoga DVDs

The singer Sting supposedly bragged that he was a practitioner of Tantric sex and yoga, which enabled him to have eight-hour sex sessions with his wife, Trudie Styler.

Well, there have been stories that claim that Sting was just pulling everyone’s leg with the tale of his prowess. Why don’t you set the record straight and call QVC Tuesday night to ask Styler what the truth is?

Styler will be on QVC Tuesday on its 8 p.m. “Problems Solved” show peddling her $26 DVD set, “Warrior Yoga.”

Both Styler and Sting are big advocates of yoga. Just this month, Styler did a Q&A with the Yoga Journal about her enthusiasm for yoga and her DVDs. She says she had been doing yoga for 18 years.

In that interview, Styler does allude to the Tantric sex story about her husband, when she talks about how yoga has helped bring them closer during their 27 years together.

“The mainstream press made much of ‘Tantra and Sting and Trudie; it was a running joke,” Styler told Yoga Journal. “But, jokes aside, what’s important is making time for one another. Sustaining intimacy is an important ingredient in chemistry. People say to us that, after all these years, we seem like we are in love….yoga helps with all relationships – working relationships, friendships, parenting – because it helps with listening, patience, tolerance, understand!ng. People yell when they’re really crying on the inside. By listening on a deeper level, you feel another person’s vibration. Yoga practice is an exercise in listening, and it teaches you to tune in to your relationships.”

And here’s QVC’s blurb on Styler’s appearance.

“Humanitarian, environmentalist, and wife of rock star, Sting, Trudie Styler is also known for her dedication to the practice of yoga. Now, she is sharing the secrets to her success with this three-DVD collection, which combines cardio, strength training, and flexibility. Among this collection’s bonus features are meditation practices, organic cooking, and gardening tips.”