Evine Names Chief Human Resources Officer

Evine has appointed Lori Riley as senior vice president, chief human resources officer, the network said Friday.

Riley joins Evine with more than 15 years of experience in the retail industry, serving in leadership positions at Target Corp. and UnitedHealth Group where she oversaw a number of responsibilities, including leadership of global employee relations, HR operations, payroll and employee experience.

“Lori comes to us with over two decades of human resources experience and a proven track record for driving exceptional performance by building strong and talented teams,” Evine CEO Bob Rosenblatt said in a canned statement.

“I am excited for her to join Evine’s already strong management team and help shape our ‘Be Good to Yourself’ culture.”

Riley joins Evine after serving as vice president of human capital at UnitedHealth Group where she accelerated the company’s talent analytics strategy, drove innovative HR operations to scale with global growth, reinvigorated the diversity & inclusion strategy and established a values-based, positive culture with strong customer service focus.

Prior to that, she spent 15 years at Minneapolis-based Target in numerous human resource positions.

“Being from the Minneapolis area, I’ve followed Evine’s story for some time now,” Riley said. “Bob has shared with me his vision for the Company, and I truly believe the best days are yet to come. Evine already has a strong foundation to build upon, and I look forward to working alongside the team to develop a world-class team and culture.”

Riley received her MBA from Northern Illinois University.


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3 Responses to “Evine Names Chief Human Resources Officer”

  1. Twat Waffles Says:

    Here is my interview with the newly appointed HR Senior VP Lori Riley:

    TW: Hello Lori, congratulations!

    LR: Oh gee wiz thanks a bunch, Twattie!

    TW: So what will some of your new duties be at Eswine?

    LR: Mopping, buffing, waxing, and toilet duty.

    TW: Last night at midnight I saw 2 of the most hideous and scary ghouls selling Cozelle, who were those fugly beasties?

    LR: That was Kendy Flopfeor and Big Foot.

    TW: I guess with faces like those no wonder there’s no HD broadcast?

    LR: Exactly! We want our late night viewers to turn to stone when they turn to our channel!

    TW: Lori can someone please tell Fatima Cocci that she’s hurt?

    LR: She’s not hurt at all, in fact she won the Minnesota Moose Face contest 3 years in a row but she stopped doing the pageant because the committee found out she’s part squirrel.

    TW: So what was your job like at Target?

    LR: It was fun, especially firing good people that busted their nuts working hard for us in our warehouse facilities, that way we don’t have to pay for medical benefits. We had 742 rules and if they broke one I was the super cunt that fired their asses!

    TW: Why does Bob Rosenblatt make many “canned statements”?

    LR: He can barely wipe his ass and count to 20!

    TW: Bob wants to you to help shape the popular ‘Be Good to Yourself’ culture, what do you think about that?

    LR: As long as they keep flooding the network with Chinese watches with Swiss labels, carnival barker vendor guests, useless flying helicopters, smattering of jewelry, previously recorded demos late at night, crappy tv’s, awful hosts, shitty presentations, shitty cookware, we should be fine as long as the audience is good to themselves.

    TW: Lastly, what would you like your message to be to the viewers that are dumb enough to tune in?

    LR: Give us your money, buy junk from us rather than pay your bills, and once your homeless living in a refrigerator box be good to yourself!!


  2. Carrie W Says:

    I’m gasping for air again!! Thanks again for the analysis!! LOL!!

  3. MaryAnn Says:

    TW, you are hillarious!! Sooo funny!! Love your comments!!😝

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