Ain’t this a kick in the ass. We got THE LETTER from ShopNBC today.
Several years ago we first learned from our readers that QVC had sent them warning letters telling them they were returning too much merchandise — all this despite the fact that all the home shopping networks say they have an unconditional 30-day guarantee. QVC suspended some of their accounts.
We couldn’t believe it! It sounded like false advertising to us: You say customers can return goods and then renege on that promise.
Surprise, surprise, we got one of those letters from ShopNBC via email Monday. It chided us for returning more than 50 percent of the items we ordered this year. Nancy “Knucklehead” Kunkle, ShopNBS’s, get this, senior vice president of “Customer Experience,” sent us the letter.
Now, anyone who know us knows our addiction is jewelry. If a home shopping network has a jewelry Today’s Special, and we want to check it out, we will order it at its one-day-only discount price to see what it looks like. We don’t view that order as a commitment to keep it.
Now we understand that some customers really abuse the 30-day-return policy. They may use a hair shampoo or a lipstick, for example, until they are nearly used up and then return them. We have never done that. We don’t abuse the policy.
We posted the letter, which is at the end of this blog, earlier today on Facebook. And as usual, our smart and funny Facebook friends had some priceless comments. A common response was “that’s crazy.”
Here are some others:
“Boy, firing their customers, there’s a growth strategy!!” wrote Linda H., our former colleague and friend.
“Lemme think… The stuff you’re buying from us is not satisfactory. That’s not OUR problem, it’s YOURS. You’re not supposed to be a discerning customer who expects silly things like quality, accurate representation of our products. Just take our crap and like it, Beyotch!” wrote Ray G., a childhood friend.
“You have got to be kidding!!!!!” from our sister Karen’s close friend Anne.
“So I guess you’re on the naughty list,” from our sister Karen.
“Sounds like a column to me, got get ’em tigress!” and “Moss, don’t shop there. What a scumbag outfit. Write,” from our former boss and mentor, Marianne.
But here’s the kicker, as we say in journalism. When we got home from the gym tonight, we had a letter in the mail from ShopNBC.
It called us “a valuable member of the ShopNBC Family,” and talked about the rebranding of the channel as ShopHQ. Guess they didn’t get the memo from Kunkle.
“We’re honored that you’ve been part of our growth over the past 23 years,” the letter said. Really?
It was signed by ShopNBC CEO Keith Stewart.
Here is the “naughty, naughty” email we got.
Dear Linda Moss,
Thank you for choosing ShopNBC to make your purchases. We hope that you have been satisfied with the products you have received.
At ShopNBC, we want you to shop with confidence. However, after reviewing your account activity during the year of 2012, we noticed that the majority of your purchases (over 50%) were not meeting your expectations and were being returned to us. This resulted in ShopNBC incurring a higher than average cost to service your account.
We value you as our customer and in order to better serve you, we are writing to ask for you to share your reasons for these returns. We invite you to share your feedback via survey at https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ShopSurvey2013 or by phone at 1-800-676-5523 between the hours of 8:00am and 8:00pm CST, Monday through Friday. Your feedback will help us determine if we can make changes for you and other customers to improve the shopping experience with ShopNBC.
Please be advised that if we are not able to meet your expectations in shopping with ShopNBC and your return rates do not reduce, we may regretfully need to take further steps including closing your account in the future. We will contact you in advance if that step is taken.
We look forward to receiving your feedback. Thank you in advance for your assistance, and for continuing to shop with ShopNBC.
SVP of Customer Experience